why...

why...why were you the first one in my mind when i wanted someone to talk to...not him and not her but you...its weird...everything is like coming back to me...yeah...i missed you...i missed your smile...i guess all along i cared for you...just that i dint realise or dint show it...

i wanna run away...run away at this moment...i cant take it...i cant stand it...i dont know where to run to...who to go to....its been a long time that i am in the middle of this kind of situation...every time it happens i would just cry,cry and cry non stop...i tried my best stopping it but every minute that passes by hurt so badly...i want to run but i just cant...if i run,i dont know what would happen...i still have a supp test to study for...i dont know how am i gonna study for it in this kind of atmosphere...i am very scared inside me...i want to find someone to talk to...but i just cant find anyone now...once i think of it,tears just slowly drop down...help me...cheer me up...

tired but happy...

without realising i have been spending time really well...going places,here and there...although tired,i am really enjoying every minute of life now...spending time with the people i want and appreciate...for the next few days i have to really work hard and after that i will be heading for a short vacation that i craved for a while...there is still something lacking though...i hope i will have it one day...but so far so good...everything is looking fine and great...just want to enjoy life! =D

finally i found out that...its your smile that would cheer me up and make me happy...its your smile that can make me a better person...

a small dream...

my mind kept wandering off...to things i really want to do and really hope i can accomplish one day...its some sort of a dream of achievements...things that i cant accomplish or do at this moment of my life due to a lot of reasons...most important one is the place i am stuck in...i mean Klang...its about sports actually...there's a will in me that wants to join competitions and win something...i dont know what but just something...to achieve something...what to say?the facilities aint good...argh...lazy to explain...all i know is i will try to do it when i am in aus next time...tennis,football...anything that i think i am good at...along the way in secondary school,tennis was the sport that i hit top form and basically can be the district champion easily but i dint have luck and dint get to join competitions when i want to...hm...how i know i can be the district champion easily?lol...first of all,i was under the recommendation directly from my personal coach and after the competition ended,one of my junior which train under the same coach as me won it...well that was junior category...my coach told me it was an easy job and if i win it,i will be able to train with other players for the Negeri Sembilan team and fight to represent the state...finally the chance came during form 5...i had an offer to play for the school as the leading player...i was form 4 when i really wanted to play for school...guess what...i rejected the offer...SPM is coming and i dint trained for quite a while so no point...i kinda stop training after i was denied to play for school by some idiot teacher in charge which has his son as the leading player back then...after rejecting the offer,i was criticized by the new teacher in charge but i dint care...since then, i kinda give up on all this achievements...during primary school,something similar happened but back then it was badminton...lol...but that's fine...too long ago...until recently,i get this feeling again to achieve things...this time its futsal...i always wanted to join a futsal competition and once again no luck...i felt that i have improved a lot since the first day i played futsal in Klang...totally different...till one day,i finally felt the atmosphere of a competition...the prom pre-event human foosball competition...our team was in the finals...i cant believe it...its a small event but the cheering was superb...that moment to me was really a very memorable one...i loved that atmosphere a lot...people cheering on...the pressure is there but i loved it! i just hope i have the chance to be in this situation again...although we dint win but i was 100% satisfied...a small little dream of mine -_-

trip confirmed...

done deal! XD ticket has been bought but neither the tickets below were bought...lol...i was supposed to buy the China Airlines one but then after reading the payment rules...me and my dad was like WTF? lol...the rules stated is that the credit card used to pay the air tickets must be shown at the check-in counter and the card holder also must be one of the passenger of the plane...goodness...it means that the card holder would also need to travel along...luckily we read it before we place our booking...after that,my dad asked me to look for Cathay Pacific Airways and luckily there was a ticket around the same price as China Airlines...lol...i just had luck on my side this time...last few seats in the plane and what more,window seat! LOL! yay! but the date differs from the date listed in the previous post...changed to one day earlier...now i have to study study and study and pass my supp!

Cathay Pacific Airways

Going Out
Kuala Lumpur LCCT(KUL) to Hong Kong (HKG)
06 Dec 2007 CX724
Departs 1755 Arrives 2140

Coming Back
Hong Kong (HKG) to Kuala Lumpur LCCT(KUL)
13 Dec 2007 CX725
Departs 1240 Arrives 1630

Coming Back

Macau(MFM) to Kuala Lumpur LCCT(KUL)

AK 53 - Depart MFM 7:50 PM 12/14/07

Arrive KUL 11:35 PM 12/14/07

Coming Back Total 526.99 MYR

1 Guest @ 385.99 385.99 MYR

Airport Tax 50.00 MYR

Administration Fee 21.00 MYR

Fuel Surcharge 70.00 MYR

---

Services and Fees

0.00 MYR

Services and Fees

0.00 MYR

---

---

Total Package Price

1447 MYR

WOOT? HK trip 90% confirmed! XD

yeah...the green light is there already...green light by my grandma and my mom...the two most important figure in my family if i want to go for holidays...lol...the final decision is with me...i hope i can buy my air ticket as soon as possible then i can sit down and focus on my supp...yeah...hell yeah! finally i get to go somewhere far by myself except australia...i want to thank my grandma so much because this trip will be almost fully sponsored by her T_T my parents are going to Phuket at the same time but i dint want to go to Phuket as i wont be enjoying it...lol...checked airasia and my dad called me to check other airlines also...hopefully i can get one of this air ticket...hope i will buy the airticket tomorrow...yes...i will...just confirmed =X my dad suggest that i take the one straight to HK cause he said it will be very troublesome on the return trip cause need to rush from HK to Macau and the fares for the ferry to Macau will also sum up to almost the same amount...lol...i hope i dont miss anything in Macau! XD

AirAsia

Going Out

Kuala Lumpur LCCT(KUL) to Macau(MFM)

07 Dec 2007 AK 52

Departs 1535 Arrives 1920

Going Out

Kuala Lumpur LCCT(KUL) to Macau(MFM)

AK 52 - Depart KUL 3:35 PM 12/07/07

Arrive MFM 7:20 PM 12/07/07

Coming Back
Macau(MFM) to Kuala Lumpur LCCT(KUL)
14 Dec 2007 AK 53
Departs 1950 Arrives 2335

Coming Back

Macau(MFM) to Kuala Lumpur LCCT(KUL)

AK 53 - Depart MFM 7:50 PM 12/14/07

Arrive KUL 11:35 PM 12/14/07

Going Out Total 445.99 MYR

1 Guest @ 329.99 329.99 MYR

Airport Tax 25.00 MYR

Administration Fee 21.00 MYR

Fuel Surcharge 70.00 MYR

---

Coming Back Total 526.99 MYR

1 Guest @ 385.99 385.99 MYR

Airport Tax 50.00 MYR

Administration Fee 21.00 MYR

Fuel Surcharge 70.00 MYR

---

Services and Fees

0.00 MYR

Services and Fees

0.00 MYR

---

---

Total Package Price

972.98 MYR

China Airlines

Going Out

Kuala Lumpur LCCT(KUL) to Macau(MFM)

AK 52 - Depart KUL 3:35 PM 12/07/07

Arrive MFM 7:20 PM 12/07/07

Going Out
Kuala Lumpur LCCT(KUL) to Hong Kong (HKG)
07 Dec 2007
Departs 0800 Arrives 1150

Coming Back
Hong Kong (HKG) to Kuala Lumpur LCCT(KUL)
14 Dec 2007
Departs 1810 Arrives 2155

Coming Back

Macau(MFM) to Kuala Lumpur LCCT(KUL)

AK 53 - Depart MFM 7:50 PM 12/14/07

Arrive KUL 11:35 PM 12/14/07

Coming Back Total 526.99 MYR

1 Guest @ 385.99 385.99 MYR

Airport Tax 50.00 MYR

Administration Fee 21.00 MYR

Fuel Surcharge 70.00 MYR

---

Services and Fees

0.00 MYR

Services and Fees

0.00 MYR

---

---

Total Package Price

1397 MYR

shit...

OMFG lar...tomorrow i have to go back to klang again...damn sien already lar...keep going back...my dad call me to follow him to klang to settle the apartment once and for all...very lazy lar...wth....feel like vomiting blood when i think of going back to that apartment again...dirty dusty dirty...what more...i have been staying there for three years already...sien of it...filled with some memories that i want to forget...must i go back again? -_- very reluctant...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

bibubibubibu...

sound so childish and wu liao...wtf...yea...i am damn bored...my day is all about sleeping,eating,studying and slacking...have to go to college tomorrow morning at 9.30am for tutorial which also means that i have to leave Seremban at 7.30-8am in the morning! XD i hope i wont be late...lol...m&i...m&i...m&i....haih...let's see what i remember...hm...sulphamethoxazole+trimethoprim...metronidazole....penicillin....cephalosporins...tetracyclines....yeah...wtf...long way to go...aih...its only prof geh's part somemore -_-

another old song that i like...

解脱


爱永远都是难题
失去分寸太容易
谁都是凡人不够小心翼翼
有时候忘了珍惜
伤害来的太无意
有时爱太急需要空间呼吸
争吵愈狠痛愈深刻
然后不断自责
我们都忘了最初的快乐
拥抱越紧痛愈深刻
谁不会舍不得
现在我给的或许并不是你要的
如果分离是唯一的解脱最后的话我来说
如果永远你不必再难过遗憾让我来过
就算过去的回忆太脆弱连未来也没有我
爱着你仍是我的执着
让你哭泣对不起为了爱承受委屈
说过的承诺其实还没忘记
愈是在乎的关系愈是相处不容易
伤害了你我也失去勇气
争吵愈狠痛愈深刻然后不断自责
我们都忘了最初的快乐
拥抱越紧痛愈深刻
谁不会舍不得
现在我给的或许并不是你要的
如果分离是唯一的解脱最后的话我来说
如果永远你不必再难过遗憾让我来过
就算过去的回忆太脆弱连未来也没有我
爱着你仍是我的执着
走到感情关键时候却握不住你的手
还能有什么藉口让爱再回头
多少的爱说不出口
就让时间帮我说话我一个人拼命挣扎
总比两个人一起难过还好吧
如果分离是唯一的解脱最后的话我来说
如果永远你不必再难过遗憾让我来过
就算过去的回忆太脆弱连未来也没有我
爱着你仍是我的执着
爱着你唯一的解脱

raining season...

argh! stupid weather...just make me wanna sleep...sometimes its just too hot...when its about to rain,i cant stand it...i sleep at 12am everyday...wake up at 11am every morning...after lunch,sleep back again at 1-2pm and wake up at 3pm again...wtf...haih...i wanna study! ROAR!

things i wanna do...

argh! there are a few things i wanna do badly! i wanna do piercing on my ears,i wanna do tattoo and i wanna dye my hair...but i just cant...my parents wont let me T_T aih...i only can wait until when i am going to aus,i will get everything done! wahahaha! beware! damn boring...need to study!

finally done!

just back from Klang and Cyberjaya...its been a busy day today...lol...finally settled my klang apartment...shifted everything to juniors house and shifted some home...haha...no need to think about it anymore...yeah! me and noob bro spent about 5 hours to finish shifting everything...damn tiring...haha...well not that tiring actually but i could not imagine me myself shifting everything all alone...i will die! thanks noob bro...haha...went and cut hair again in scissors 2...the hair sytlist,Kimberly gave me a new hairstyle...not bad...i kinda like it...lol...not bad lar! can change hairstyle every one or two months now! XD

happy birthday to you!!!

since i am so free...i decided to give an early birthday wish to Miss Goh Siow Cherng! her birthday is tomorrow which is 16/11/1987...erm...she is someone k...dont play play...she is my lab partner...and...er...other than that,i dont know...hahaha! just joking...lol...she helped me alot in studies i can say...throughout this two years and a lot more...lazy want to mention everything...here are some pictures of her! too bad no lab picture...

lan-si face weh! i finally found an ugly pic of you! wahaha! this was first semester...

when i just got to know her in first semester...yea...we both are in Group A...this was CIH presentation back then...

time passed by so fast huh? this was taken last year during her birthday...

taken during yk's birthday celebration...

taken during make-up session before the prom...

taken during Industry Visit...

taken during Mooncake Festival Celebration...she gave me a surprise...she just dyed her hair at that time...lala mui! LOL!

Happy birthday again! may all your wishes come true!

dont miss me when i am gone...take care of yourself in aus ay! XD

oh wtf...

totally mood-less...dont know wtf is happening to me...dont have the heart to do anything...cant focus and concentrate...it was a shock...why today...why now...its already over and i dont want to think of it anymore...i am definitely not thinking about it...i think what is bothering me is not this but another thing...damn...its getting serious...complicated shit...

here i go again...

my beloved Microbiology & Immunology...its time to start studying...two weeks of studying and i am done...then i will be thinking whether a not to take the trip...well...let's study first and think about that later...

awkward...

the full results is out...i knew that i passed the other 3 subjects already but i went to double check...once i open i saw a F1...i felt very awkward...its like something pierced through my heart...from then on,i dint really have the mood...i am glad that everyone around me that i asked has got through the final obstacle...now you guys can relax and chill and prepare for your sweet departure to Adelaide...congrats everyone...for me...i dont know what to say...i know i am going to fail but failing twice in a row just hurts ay...i will be fine...

i feel ok but its another failure...failure is a failure there is no denial about it...i think my parents are disappointed but they dint show it to me...dont know why i so emo...not really emo...but i locked up myself in my room...i dint on the lights and dint do anything...just lie down on the bed...thinking and thinking...

another failure T_T

bad things dont happen alone...it usually happens a few times at once...lol...i dont know what am i crapping...ok...first of all...heavy rain,big lightning and the house went blackout...ok fine...i went out to switch on the main switch again...walk in to my room and check out my computer...just i was checking another big lightning strike again...the house went blackout again without me realising...too fast...ok fine...i quickly pulled out the plugs of my two computers...i was afraid one of my computer is damaged so i checked it out a bit...i pulled out all the wires or cables connecting to my comp...suddenly another big lightning striked and the cable that i was holding had a light spark...yea...i got 'sot'...it was a moment of pain that is all...after the rain and lightning toned down...i on-ed back the main switch again...checked my comps again...this time using internet and i found out the internet aint working...so i started testing testing and testing..checking what is the main problem...cable,network card,modem or router...finally conclude that my router was toasted by the lightning and yes the cable i was holding back then was a LAN cable...HOW THE FUCK CAN A LAN CABLE DO THAT? i was wondering...furthermore i pulled out the main plug already...maybe because the telephone line was still in tact...i dont know...ok...i msged my noob bro asking about the warranty of the router...then he said it is claimable...i am thinking whether i still have the stupid resit...haih...i dont even have the box also...i am so dead...the router cost me around rm300+ back then...its a damn good router...hope i can find the resit this friday lar...once i put down the phone,a call came...an unkown number...picked it up...it was Pn Aini...ok...i knew i'm fucked...all i asked her was..."a F2 ar?" then she replied you can take supp...ok...that means F1...lol...i told my parents straight...i think i feel fine about the results...Pn Aini told me that i passed all the other subjects...back then Pn Aini and Pn Zali said they would kill whoever that failed m&i...i guess i am the first on the list...wahaha...Pn Aini told me that the full results would be out tomorrow...good luck to everyone =D

not rested...

i know its holidays...i'm supposed to get more rest than usual...i dont know why...i'm not at peace...my head and brain is still working constantly...there are things unaccomplished yet...there are things i havent finish settling yet...i dont know why...i know its nothing big but it is just in my head...i kept thinking of it...how to settle it in the perfect way...i dont know what happened...i dont know why am i so worked up...maybe because...i was left alone to face,do and settle this matter...i aint a superman or anything special...there are really alot of things in my head now...my klang apartment...unsettled bills and etc...i just cant relax...not until i settle my klang stuff...just wish that someone could give me a hand...someone could be beside me to listen what am i thinking...what am i planning to do...haih...i am really stressed up...i think bills is the biggest problem for me now...MONEY is the problem...i am kinda broke for now...should i go for the HK trip?from the bottom of my heart,i really want to go but i just cant let myself think of it yet before i settle all this stuff...results too...when will results be out?i am scared of spending more money as i fear that my results wont be good...i dont know why...i always prepare for the worst...that's me...i prepare...

Luna Bar 6/11/07 11:59:59PM

i spent my last few minutes in Luna Bar with Rachel, TJ, Hui Chiao, Yvonne and Tau Lee...sound like i am going to die huh? haha! last few minutes before i become 20! it was a last minute plan though but i was really very happy...when we reached Luna,we get to enter some sort of a VIP place to wait as an event just ended there...the staff were busy packing so we were allowed to enter this place that all of us never entered before...trust me,its total class...the people chilling or eating inside are also class...looking at them and the way they dress,makes me feel so...CACATED! LOL! after that, we moved out to the usual place...guess what?we get those windows seat! WOOT! haha...too bad...the staff told us that it cant fit 6 people...we started to emo a bit...then there was one staff offering me a seat upstairs...he said its a big sofa then i told him,i will have a look first...if not satisfied i will stick with the window seat...when i went up,i was like WTF?haha...the seats are getting better and better...one big sofa and its windows view too! of course we swapped places lar! kakaka! thanks alot guys! it was really a memorable one! presenting you some pictures from that night...

Luna Bar

Cristallo (the some sort of VIP place...its a part of Luna)

Inside Cristallo

after moving outside,the cam-whoring begins! here goes...

the aunties! TJ, Rachel, Yvonne and Hui Chiao

of course i am in it...lol...

ARGH! kasi makan tu CORN!

TJ & me

me & Tau Lee

dont look at the girls...look at the big sofa i'm talking about...that is not even half of it -_- imagine how big it is...

Group picture!

this two were trying to be emo or trying to be gan xing...

let me show you what is PRO-ness in emo and gan xing! wahahha!

SOMEONE said...blur-ness brings some romantic-ness....LOL...slowly guess who is that someone...

Yvonne & me

Tau Lee & me

er...BROKE BACK MOUNTAIN! GAY SHIT! LOL!

we were forced to do this...T_T

the girls trying to show their yeng-ness

let us teach them what is YENG-ness!


here comes the cake...
make a wish...make a wish...why smile until so geng?

candle blowing...

HYPER! secret recipe cakes!

kena from TJ for guessing wrongly which two cakes that she bought...

makan makan! Choc banana, choc indulgence, Mango, Oreo Cheesecake!

before going back! next day...IPOH TRIP!