broke down...

i finally broke into tears when i talked to MJ...its been very long since i burst into tears...i never did after the failure...i dint have a good mood all day long...i dint attend class,i dint do anything and just stoned in library...i felt...lonely as ever...my mind keep thinking non stop about things that are happening and changing...the question i kept asking myself was..."why am i not there?i should be the person over there..." the only thing i can do is keep looking and looking and looking...haih...i am suffering so much...i knew that this day would come that i finally break down finally...i'm at my limits...i dont know what to do and what to think anymore...i am very scared that i would be the old me once again...i started skipping classes once again and do not have the mood to do anything...i am afraid that i would once again fail this semester...no doubt i feel better now...but i am sure one day i would break down once again...haih...some people say i am suffering insomnia...i was shocked when i heard it and straight away i denied it...after much thinking,i'm suffering insomnia indeed...