why am i here?
why am i doing what i am currently doing?
why am i like this?
i am like a person without past and future...i dont even know what am i having now currently...i dont even know whether i want whatever i am having now...i feel that i want more but i dont know what the fuck that i want...everything just came into my mind...everything...from years back till now...everything that had happened or is happening or is going to happen just proves that i am a fucking total FAILURE...i am good for nothing...why am i here?once again i feel like leaving...somewhere far...restart my life...fresh and new...no one knows me and i know no one...start a new life without repeating the mistakes that i did...mistakes that made me who am i today...i always try my best to be someone great but it always ended up the same way everytime...being nothing...is all i could do...i have lost the meaning of life long long time ago...i dont have a goal in life...i dont have a target in life...i am just basically empty...just walking on everyday not knowing why am i doing whatever i am doing...after falling so bad,its always been a question whether i could ever stand up again...my dad asked me the same question back then...i still dont know the answer now...i have been trying very hard this semester...in everything...the semester is ending and i felt that...i am not there yet...not near full recovery...not near of fully standing up again...everytime i see each of you...i feel so jealous...there is the meaning of life...the smile on you guys' faces each day...me?i got nothing...i am close to nothing,no one, no where...i am standing in the middle of a dark room...being alone is not what i want but it always happen to be this way...no matter what i do to change it...it will go back to the same place...i am tired inside me...nobody could help me except myself...with me being so pathetic and useless,how am i going to help myself? to me,everything ends with a question mark...if its not a question mark then its a bad ending...
why am i doing what i am currently doing?
why am i like this?
i am like a person without past and future...i dont even know what am i having now currently...i dont even know whether i want whatever i am having now...i feel that i want more but i dont know what the fuck that i want...everything just came into my mind...everything...from years back till now...everything that had happened or is happening or is going to happen just proves that i am a fucking total FAILURE...i am good for nothing...why am i here?once again i feel like leaving...somewhere far...restart my life...fresh and new...no one knows me and i know no one...start a new life without repeating the mistakes that i did...mistakes that made me who am i today...i always try my best to be someone great but it always ended up the same way everytime...being nothing...is all i could do...i have lost the meaning of life long long time ago...i dont have a goal in life...i dont have a target in life...i am just basically empty...just walking on everyday not knowing why am i doing whatever i am doing...after falling so bad,its always been a question whether i could ever stand up again...my dad asked me the same question back then...i still dont know the answer now...i have been trying very hard this semester...in everything...the semester is ending and i felt that...i am not there yet...not near full recovery...not near of fully standing up again...everytime i see each of you...i feel so jealous...there is the meaning of life...the smile on you guys' faces each day...me?i got nothing...i am close to nothing,no one, no where...i am standing in the middle of a dark room...being alone is not what i want but it always happen to be this way...no matter what i do to change it...it will go back to the same place...i am tired inside me...nobody could help me except myself...with me being so pathetic and useless,how am i going to help myself? to me,everything ends with a question mark...if its not a question mark then its a bad ending...
No comments:
Post a Comment