holding too tightly...

its time to let things loose...felt that i am holding everything too tightly...i dont know why but i always find myself holding things too tightly when i am appreciating them...i dont want to anymore...a lot of things are not in my control...all i can tell myself is dont put high expectations or hopes in anything i am into now...everything! i dont want to say it but there is definitely a gap already...dont deny it...its there and i cant do anything about it...i dont really care anymore...i felt that i always have been the one trying to make an effort in everything...me too will get tired...i am not a robot or a superman...me too is just a normal human...i just dont want to do abnormal or special things anymore because there is always a risk of getting nothing but just disappointment...in fact,the percentage of getting disappointment is higher for me...at this moment,i just felt like being normal...a normal person or just be no one...that way,i got nothing to lose...no one can hurt me either...i can say that i am pulling myself out of everything...done enough...its time to let loose and just be no one...

there are two roads ahead...we all have our own road to walk on...just that mine is different...all i can do is hope that everything would be fine for you guys...i dont really care anymore...i dont want to ask anything anymore...

stress stress stress...dint study much this two days...due to the timing of the lab sessions...felt tired and dont have the mood to study after lab...i am kinda excited about next year...there are so much things i want to do...i know i should not think of it right now...haha.all i should do now is concentrate concentrate and concentrate for my exams...i must clear this semester if not you guys wont be seeing me anymore...not really having a good mood this days...well...not bad mood nor good mood...just in the middle...nothing special...